How to navigate relationship envy this Christmas, according to an expert

We’re definitely not jealous, promise…

We’re definitely not jealous, promise…

Ah Christmas, a beautiful time of romantic adventures, from strolls admiring twinkling lights to cozy nights in little pubs.

In fact, a recent study by Lovehoney found that more than three-quarters of Brits want to be in a relationship this Christmas – handcuff season, anyone?

But for those who are single or those who feel like their relationship isn’t mimicking the love they see around them, the holiday season can feel a little puke-worthy.

It can even make us jealous – something that only intensifies when we come home for Christmas and immediately see other family members or friends with their respective other halves.

So what’s the best way to navigate those feelings of envy? To answer that, Lovehoney has teamed up with relationship expert Callisto Adams to reveal exactly what relationship envy is, why it’s so prevalent this time of year, and tips for dealing with it.

What is relationship envy?

Simply put, Adams says relationship envy is the feeling you get when you find yourself being jealous of another couple’s relationship — or wanting to have that type of relationship when you’re single.

It’s even more common at Christmas when we watch festive movies based on love (The Holiday, Love Actually, etc.) and are constantly bombarded with photos of friends reuniting with loved ones on social media. .

Adds Adams, “We are currently in handcuff season, a time of year when the advertisements for happiness and joy within couples and families are endless, and a time when it gets cold enough to give us craving for emotional warmth.

“During the holiday season, there is often more pressure around your relationship status. This can lead to feeling the need to have what others around you have, to have warmth, a emotional support and someone to share the festivities with.

What are some signs that someone is experiencing relationship envy?

If all of the above is starting to feel a little too close to home, you might be feeling a strong relationship urge.

According to Adams, there are three key signs that may indicate you’ve succumbed to the green-eyed monster:

  1. You find yourself comparing your relationship to others, or you find yourself looking at couples who wish they had what they have.

  2. You imagine your partner behaving in a specific way (like the one you saw in another couple).

  3. You are sad when you see happy couples.

How to Navigate Relationship Envy

Alright we accept it, maybe we get a little jealous of other relationships this time of year (and maybe cheering on Alan Rickman’s character in Love Actually was one of them). a major sign).

So what do we do about it? Here is what Adams advises:

  1. Take the time to appreciate what you have. Try to see the beauty in your relationships – whether romantic, with friends or with your family.

  2. Try to understand that what you are feeling is likely to be imposed by external factors, whether environmental or cultural.

  3. Take the time to understand why you feel this way. Is there something really missing in your relationship that makes you envious, or maybe you’re stuck in a negative cycle of comparing your relationship with others?

  4. If you still experience relationship envy and are struggling with it, don’t be afraid to talk about your feelings with your partner or even a therapist.


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